Simmers Note: I wondered why Joe wasn't in my head screaming at me like he usually is. Turns out he had something else on his mind.So I get moved onto this empty lot. There's a nice view of the ocean, but it's still just an empty lot. The SimGoddess-that-isn't-Ruby says that I'm part of a "legacy". I believe I'm legendary enough that I should have a mansion filled with chicks, but nooooooooooooooooooo. The SimGoddess-that-isn't-Ruby says I have to build my "legacy" from the ground up. I've got a few simoleans left after college so I get a builder in, but there's not much they can do right now. At least I have somewhere to sleep and do my business, ya know.
The SimGoddess-that-isn't-Ruby says that in order to be the founder of a legacy, I have to marry and spawn. So I have my college girlfriend come over for a date. Unfortunately, I can't take her somewhere nice where she deserves to be seen with someone like me because building my shack has left me broke. But we can always skinny dip in the ocean. *wink wink*
She likes me! She really likes me! *snort* Of course she likes me. We've been over this before. Chicks dig me. Anyway, she gave me this sweet computer. Too bad I don't have anywhere to put it.
I do the
pansy gentlemanly thing and pledge my undying love on one knee.
I know, babe. Don't get used to it because you'll never see me do such a pansy maneuver again.
She said yes. Duh.See, chicks dig me. She even thinks getting married on the beach is romantic.
Oh yeah! I for sure picked a winner!She cleans up pretty well too!With this ring, she pledged to love, honor, and obey me.*snort* What color is the sky in your little world, Joe?
Blah, blah, love. Blah, blah, cherish. Blah, blah, blah . . .blah, blah, blah . . . kiss the bride!Poor, pregnant Samantha Ottomas is celebrating with the fireworks all by her lonesome. Why?
Because the happy couple decided to set off their own fireworks. Right away. *headdesk*
Joe, what's that pounding noise?
That's just me setting off your fireworks, babe.
Oh yeah, I rock!
For serious? She just now noticed the obnoxious alarm ringing?
Police dude: I'm going to have to take you in ma'am.
Burglar chick: My eyes are up here, dumbass.
Who you calling a dumbass? You wanna piece of me?
My. Eyes. Are. Up. Here. DUMBASS!
Quit talking to my tits!
How. Would. You. Like. It. If. I. Talked. To. Your. Crotch?
That would suit me just fine, ma'am.
Ow, waddya hafta do that for?
So I could get away, Dumbass!
You're pathetic. You pansy.
Awwww . . .
Note the time. Yes, this was right after the Keystone Kop left. *headdesk*
Honey, there's that pounding noise again.
Bwhahahaha! That's what you get for letting your little head do the thinking.
Hey, who you calling little?
Great. Now I guess I'll have the entire neighborhood playing round robin flu. *headdesk*
Really? You think the promotion sucks that much? Or did you catch Joe's flu bug?
I know! I'm shocked too that your hair style changed with your maternity wear.
Ugh. I look like the Grape Ape!
Joooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! You asshole! This is allllllllllllllllllll your fauuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllltttttttttttt!
Thank the sim deities there was only one spawn in there!
You got that right, sistah!
Welcome to Posy Creek Bluff, Mario Schmoe.
*headdesk headdesk headesk*
<Insert your own caption here.>