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Growing Schmoely - World In My Eyes 
23rd-Jan-2011 03:31 pm

Simmers Note:  I wondered why Joe wasn't in my head screaming at me like he usually is.  Turns out he had something else on his mind.

So I get moved onto this empty lot.  There's a nice view of the ocean, but it's still just an empty lot.  The SimGoddess-that-isn't-Ruby says that I'm part of a "legacy".  I believe I'm legendary enough that I should have a mansion filled with chicks, but nooooooooooooooooooo.  The SimGoddess-that-isn't-Ruby says I have to build my "legacy" from the ground up.  I've got a few simoleans left after college so I get a builder in, but there's not much they can do right now.  At least I have somewhere to sleep and do my business, ya know.

The SimGoddess-that-isn't-Ruby says that in order to be the founder of a legacy, I have to marry and spawn.  So I have my college girlfriend come over for a date.  Unfortunately, I can't take her somewhere nice where she deserves to be seen with someone like me because building my shack has left me broke.  But we can always skinny dip in the ocean.  *wink wink*

She likes me!  She really likes me!  *snort*  Of course she likes me.  We've been over this before.  Chicks dig me.  Anyway, she gave me this sweet computer.  Too bad I don't have anywhere to put it.

I do the pansy gentlemanly thing and pledge my undying love on one knee.

I know, babe.  Don't get used to it because you'll never see me do such a pansy maneuver again.

She said yes.  Duh.

See, chicks dig me.  She even thinks getting married on the beach is romantic.

Oh yeah!  I for sure picked a winner!

She cleans up pretty well too!

With this ring, she pledged to love, honor, and obey me.

*snort*  What color is the sky in your little world, Joe?

Blah, blah, love.  Blah, blah, cherish.  Blah, blah, blah . . .

blah, blah, blah . . . kiss the bride!

Poor, pregnant Samantha Ottomas is celebrating with the fireworks all by her lonesome.  Why?

Because the happy couple decided to set off their own fireworks.  Right away.  *headdesk*

Joe, what's that pounding noise?

That's just me setting off your fireworks, babe.


Oh yeah, I rock!

For serious?  She just now noticed the obnoxious alarm ringing?

Police dude:  I'm going to have to take you in ma'am.

Burglar chick:  My eyes are up here, dumbass.

Who you calling a dumbass?  You wanna piece of me?

My. Eyes.  Are.  Up.  Here.  DUMBASS!

Quit talking to my tits!

How.  Would.  You.  Like.  It.  If.  I.  Talked.  To.  Your.  Crotch?

That would suit me just fine, ma'am.

Ow, waddya hafta do that for?

So I could get away, Dumbass!

You're pathetic.  You pansy.

Awwww . . .


Note the time.  Yes, this was right after the Keystone Kop left.  *headdesk*

Honey, there's that pounding noise again.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, yeah.

Bwhahahaha!  That's what you get for letting your little head do the thinking.

Hey, who you calling little?

Great.  Now I guess I'll have the entire neighborhood playing round robin flu.  *headdesk*

Really?  You think the promotion sucks that much?  Or did you catch Joe's flu bug?

I know!  I'm shocked too that your hair style changed with your maternity wear.

Ugh.  I look like the Grape Ape!

Joooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  You asshole!  This is allllllllllllllllllll your fauuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllltttttttttttt!

Thank the sim deities there was only one spawn in there!

You got that right, sistah!

Welcome to Posy Creek Bluff, Mario Schmoe. 

*headdesk headdesk headesk*


<Insert your own caption here.>

23rd-Jan-2011 09:07 pm (UTC)
OMG I haven't laughed this much in a long time. I love it!

Burglar chick: My eyes are up here, dumbass.

Then the whole fight! And Lisa made the poor cop cry. ROFL!

Great stuff. Just what I needed today. :)
23rd-Jan-2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
So glad I could brighten your icky day! The RL Lisa has been known to make a guy or two cry too! *huggles* I hope you feel better soon.
23rd-Jan-2011 09:37 pm (UTC)
SimGoddess-that-isn't-Ruby *giggles* I love that.
such a great update. omg i was cracking up so much i cried.
*tickles lil Mario* hello sweetie!
23rd-Jan-2011 09:44 pm (UTC)
Poor Joe. He's so fixated on SimGoddess Ruby, but he doesn't remember just how rough a Ruby Sim has it. :D
23rd-Jan-2011 11:20 pm (UTC)
That's because he's got a fatal attraction for SimGoddess Ruby. ;-)

23rd-Jan-2011 10:06 pm (UTC)
LOL "Ow, waddya hafta do that for?" And then Lisa makes him feel even worse? I love it!!

Look at those beautiful eyes on Mario.
23rd-Jan-2011 10:45 pm (UTC)
Oh tell me he didn't deserve it!
23rd-Jan-2011 11:22 pm (UTC)
It's sooo good to see Joe doing so well!

Honey, there's that pounding noise again.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, yeah.

23rd-Jan-2011 11:24 pm (UTC)
I love Joe! I'm so happy that I could continue playing him, even if his life isn't what it used to be.
24th-Jan-2011 12:17 pm (UTC)
Your Joe cracks me up! *ROTFLMAO* Do you have a hack or something that allows them to woohoo whenever they want? Is that the reason for the "*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*"?? *LOL* LOVED the cop/robber routine. *snicker-snort*
24th-Jan-2011 03:22 pm (UTC)
I use ACR 2.0. So yes, they woohoo whenever they feel like it. Which is almost all the time. *headdesk*
4th-Mar-2011 07:25 pm (UTC)
"SimGoddes-that-isnt-Ruby"? *giggles* Wouldn't it just be faster to call her Lisa?

Hey, you've got a free computer. Don't knock it! Most legacy founders don't get one of those for years.

*shakes her head at Joe* He's so full of himself! But ooo, nice haul Lisa brought with her!

Heh, nice dip at the wedding! (You choose how to take that. *chortles*) Good for them, not letting any grass grow under their feet! OMG he really is so full of sh....erm, himself!

*blinks* They still have plasterboard for walls but they have a burglar alarm? I mean, I guess that's a good thing but wow. *giggles* (And what self-respecting burglar is going to try to rob such a tiny house?)

"That would suit me just fine ma'am." *cracks up*

Poor cop dude. Gets no respect at all. HAHAHAHA!! I love that they're taking advantage of the early wake-up call like that. *giggles*

*snorts* He's exhausted, he's hungry and he's gonna be stinky by the time he gets home. *giggles*

Congrats on the baby-on-the-way! (Cute maternity clothes too.)

You can't blame it ALL on Joe, you know. *tickles simLisa* Yay for just one baby! Welcome Mario!

Erm, really? Wouldn't her coochie be a little too sore? *boggles* And she's ready to PASS OUT and they're gonna go at it? *shakes her head*
4th-Mar-2011 11:03 pm (UTC)
*takes a deep breath before responding to my novella*

Joe is fixated on Sim-Goddess Ruby. He has it stuck in his pea-brain that she would treat him like the legend he thinks he his. So calling me "Sim-Goddess-that-isn't-Ruby" is a dig at me.

Yes, he's definitely full of something. I'm beginning to think it might be something else though.

It's a good thing they had the alarm, too, isn't it?

By the time the burglar gets there, the house has grown. Lisa's haul allowed them to add on right away.

Well you know that in the sim world, they can go from spitting out spawn to getting pregnant again right away.
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